The Love Code! Survivor of Childhood sexual abuse!


“To love Or NOT to love, That is the question!!”


Is the word and action that we humans use for love, actually…love? Or have we been describing something other than love…as love? Perhaps it is not love at all.

I am sharing this with all of you because this new point of view can set your spirit free. There are a lot of survivors of childhood sexual abuse, Dealing with this issue and searching my heart and mind for answers. Trying to come to some sort of conclusion within myself as to how and why I feel the way I do.How do I feel you ask?

I feel at times like I am crazy because society tells me that I need to hate my abuser. They did me wrong and they need to pay. But my heart still has compassion and love for them and their circumstance. How can that be sane? How do I solve the dilemma that rages within my mind and heart? Maybe the answer is to look at love differently and perhaps we have all been looking at love upside down.

“The opposite of love is not hate….it is indifference”

Is love actually the opposite of what we have been portraying it to be? I have been taught that love and hate are completely opposite on the scale of vibration. Love feels so good and hate is a vibrational variance in complete opposition to love. But I know that to hate feels really good too at times. It feels better than depression and sadness. What if they are wrong? What if love and hate are not opposite in vibration? What if they are exactly the same? Let me explain this a little further.

I am sure that we can all agree on the fact that in order to feel loss or lack there has to have been the object of our desire there in the first place. In order to have the negative feeling of hate…there has to have been the positive feeling of love. Negative feelings only come from the feeling of lack or loss of something that was previously had. Thus proving that in order to feel hate toward someone or a situation there has to be an equal feeling of love along with it. So what is the opposite of love?


I believe that hate and love are one in the same. They may feel different because of the attention and feeling we put towards one or the other but on a vibrational scale, you can not have one without having the other. Have you ever sat and actually felt in your soul the feeling of love at it’s newest purest form? Then have you actually thought about how good it feels to hate at it’s newest and purest form? Oh man can I tell you for me that the emotion and feelings…the vibration feels very much the same. Have you ever heard that saying that there is a thin line between love and hate? Perhaps that is because there is no line at all. How about that saying, “I love to hate him and I hate to love him.” He drives me mad. But I still love him. I have had many a g/f tell me this and I have said it myself. I wonder if you can actually have one without the other? If they are actually one in the same then perhaps you can’t.

Say you pick up a stick and on one end you have love and on the other you have hate. The reality of the situation is that the stick will vibrate and resonate at the same frequency. Regardless of which end love is on or hate is on.

My Definition of love
: strong affection for another arising out of hurt or personal ties
: attraction based on sexual desire
: affection and tenderness felt by lovers
: affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
: an assurance of affection

My Definition of hate
: strong loathing for another arising out of hurt or personal ties
: loathing based on sexual desire that is not fulfilled
: loathing and hurt felt by lovers
: loathing based on lack of admiration,
: loathing and no assurance of affection

So now that I have shown you the opposite can you see how much they are the same? Not the same words but the same as in the amount of energy that is put toward the action. There is definitely a distinction between two or more things. If we look at balance or involvement in one thing or another on a small scale…we can probably find difference. But when it comes to our human version of love, there is no difference between love and hate if it is directed at the same object of affection, item or thing that we put the emotion toward. There is only energy and vibration put toward it. Regardless of the energy or vibration you put toward it there is still the subject you are focusing on. There is only the subject or the object. It is all one in the same. It is all energy that is focused in that direction. Therefore love and hate toward the same item isn’t just possible it is probable.

Lets describe Indifference

: lack of difference or distinction between two or more things
: absence of compulsion to or toward one thing or another

My Version of Indifference

: no distinction between two or more things because there is no desire to one or the other
: absence of compulsion toward the subject.

“Opposites Attract”

When you have lack of compulsion toward the subject that you have been vibrating toward that is when you start to develop opposite energy and vibration.Opposite energy and vibration can not come when the same subject is being focused on. For example, you can not love to hate someone and hate to love them unless they are one in the same. They are the same subject. Maybe real love comes when we can find indifference in the situation and actually love the subject without any personal feelings involved. Without any conditions. Maybe feeling indifferent to any outcome and loving the subject regardless is actually the purest form of love. No conditions. No requirements. They don’t need to be or act a certain way. They don’t need to be faithful, because they are being unfaithful to themselves not to you. They just need to be and experience their journey on the planet as they are meant to. Understanding that a persons actions have so little to do with you and more to do with themselves and their vibration toward the subject.

“In the movie Eat, Pray, Love,…”

the shaman said that losing balance for something is part of living a balanced life. If we look at life as a whole and then view it through those glasses, it can truly change your perspective.

Divine Source loves us this way. It doesn’t matter what we do or how we mess up…Source doesn’t take it personally. When my abuser used my young child body to do his bidding, it wasn’t actually about me. It was about his need to deal with himself. I was the object not the subject. You see…this is why I can still have unconditional love for people regardless of what they do wrong.

We use the word love to describe feelings or a state of being in a moment of vibration that elevates our hormones and emotions. Perhaps we shouldn’t. perhaps we should just be saying it feels really good. Because that is the truth. Perhaps the word love is something completely different then what we have been attaching to it. I would like to say that love perhaps is the vibration of indifference to an outcome. But still holding that persons soul in a position of honor regardless of their actions because I believe that is possibly unconditional love. If that is the case…you can still love your abuser and hold their soul in high regard without being crazy. You can still have compassion for someone who is in societies eyes is banish-able without being crazy. I am not at all saying that the undesired action should have happened or should at all continue…all I am saying is that if you feel unconditional love for someone that has hurt you and you still care about their soul …that puts you closer to your divine being and unconditional love than you think you have been. It does not make you crazy…it makes you evolved.


How about that saying that opposites attract. Well perhaps they attract each other because without the opposite part they are not a whole. So if attracting the opposite of someone makes up a whole, then it makes sense why opposites attract. We are all wanting to be a part of something that makes up a whole so that we can feel whole? Another misconception in the human condition.

The reality is that we already have those parts within ourselves. The good and the bad. They are not the parts we focus on or put energy toward or perhaps even want to because we feel bad in even trying to honor our shadow side. So perhaps we look for someone with all of the shadow parts within ourselves so that we can point a finger and place blame. We are already a whole being. Nothing is lacking. Nothing is needed from another. Perhaps if we viewed ourselves as we truly are and moved through this existence as a whole we would start to realize that needing love is a misconception in needing validation in this human existence. Giving unconditional love in this human existence is all it is about. Just as Divine Source loves us.


Recap: Love is not the feeling of love or hate. Love is indifference to the outcome and loving a soul and holding it in high regard…regardless of the condition or outcome.

~Guiding Halo~

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