Tag Archives: Frustration

“Time to go within!”

Beautiful😇

When you finally…..

~GIVE UP~

pexels-photo-268774

Three of the best words you could ever usher out of your mouth. Do you know why? Because as soon as you truly feel that way and actually give up, you get out of the universes way which in turn, gets you out of your own way. The universe can not bring blessings to your life “IF” you have too much resistance in the way of what you are asking for.

Universal blessings are there for everyone and anyone. You ask and the universe answers. When you say….with an attitude of excitement or absolute knowing,,,,I want x,y,z. The universe answers yes. The universe only knows the answer yes. When you ask with a desire of longing and dread…the universe gives you more to long for and be dreadful of. I love knowing this because without knowing it, I can’t change the way I think. 

Have you ever noticed that a lot of your biggest desires come on the heals of feeling down and like it is never going to happen for you? Perhaps it’s because in giving up you actually lose resistance to what you are actually asking for?

Resistance Explained.

  • the act or power of resisting, opposing, or withstanding.
  • the opposition offered by one thing, force, etc., to another.
  • Electricity.
    1. Also called ohmic resistance.a property of a conductor by virtue of which the passage of current is opposed, causing electric energy to be transformed into heat: equal to the voltage across the conductor divided by the current flowing in the conductor: By: Dictionary.com.

 “The passage of current is opposed.”

You see…even though you are asking for love, or money or clarity, if your current is that of the opposite that is what you will get. Is the opposite of what you are wanting. It’s like this.  You want to have a heart to match yours but if you are putting out a black heart a mirror can only show you a black heart. Even if what you are looking at is actually a beautiful red heart. You will see in someone else what you don’t like in yourself. Always. You will see in someone else what you love in yourself always. A mirror does not lie. It will always show you what is there. You can not change what you see in the mirror by reaching into the mirror and changing the shape or color. You can only change what is inside your image first. When you look in a mirror you are mirroring yourself and your own energy. It is the same when you ask the universe for anything. It mirrors your vibration. You have to work on yourself in order to bring the beauty in which you seek into your life.  Your desire…passage of current is apposed to what you are wanting. The beauty which you seek can not be projected into the mirror. Therefore you will not find it.

When you want to bring something into your existence that in your minds eye, you perceive as wonderful,  don’t go by the mirror image, that you see in the mirror. Get connected to source. Then and only then, do you ask for the specifics of what you desire. When your inner being is projecting beauty and you ask for the beauty that is being projected that is when you will call in all of the beauty you seek. Remember that phrase, be careful what you ask for? I think it would be incredibly productive to think of it as to be careful when you ask for. Always be mindful of the vibration that you have when asking the universe for anything. Because I have learned from experience, that the universe will match your vibration. Every single time.

Go ahead…give up and let the universe have control. Seriously…watch how amazing your life becomes in just the idea that there is a universe or something out there that has your back.

We would all never worry about anything ever again if we remember who walks beside us every day.

~Wayne Dyer~

flowers-in-water-close-up_4460x4460

Untitled123

 

When things go wrong remember who walks beside you.

It isn’t unlikely that there are times in life you’ll be going full speed ahead. Bouncing from one task to the other in such a hurry that we don’t take time to ground ourselves. We don’t take time to bring ourselves inward and grab a hold of what Divine Source is trying to tell us. Or to give a heartfelt thank you to the Divine for guiding us through this tidal wave of life.

I mentioned previously in a post that the universe will take drastic measures to get your attention. At times you may start to have a nagging feeling like you are out of synchronization. Like your mind and heart aren’t on the same page… Or something bad happens and you wonder what you did to deserve this bad Karma.

This is when it is time for a wake up call. I will use my dear friends recent experience with a lost purse, to help bring light to this thought process.

wayne-dyer-inspirational-quotes.jpg

I got a frantic text from her saying that she has lost her purse!?!?! All of her identification… Everything in it just gone in an instant. Panic ensued rapidly as fretting took over the next 24 hours of her life. After making phone calls and finding out the most likely place she would have left it behind… Of all places it could have been lost… It is what most people, would call, a very sketchy part of town. Chances of it being found? 0…chances of ID in it? -100. Chances of money being still in it? -100,000. She put an add on her FB page and the negativity was astounding. You will never get it back. Good luck to you. You can imagine… It wasn’t pleasant.

She held strong but started to doubt her karmic energy. What did she do that was so terrible to deserve this. She must have done something wrong to someone recently. She had called all of her friends and asked them to pray on her behalf.

Now.. When people ask me to pray.. I say absolutely.. But my prayers differ from others. It’s actually a form of mediation in a sense where I ground myself and allow divine source to flow through me with absolute light and pure energy of well being. I send that energy out to all involved and to her purse, to the place where she left it and to all who work there. I let that energy permeate the whole situation… Saturating it completely. That’s it. Then I’m done. I walk with absolute confidence that the Divine has a plan.

(I will say that this is a lot harder to do when it is my purse that is missing lol. After all, we are all a work in progress. Right?)

After questioning her karmic energy and starting to find herself more upset by the whole thing she stopped. Took her self to a quiet place and did some divine energy work for herself. To most peoples amazement she was called and told that her purse had been found with everything in it. Even the money.

1-yh6uw1tzl5yzst2jwqgqsa1.jpeg

When she was telling me about it.. I smiled and said that nothing was wrong with her karma. We all get busy at times and the universe needs to do a check in with us to make sure it has our attention. Usually before it is going to take us to a breakthrough.

Lets be realistic. If you had crappy karma.. You never would have seen that purse again. The fact that it was found in the worst part of town in tact and returned to you? Should hands down tell you that your karma is perfect. Source needs to remind us sometimes that life doesn’t go smoothly because we make it go that way. It goes smoothly because source has our back. Just be. You are covered. Sometimes the divine checks in with you… Does something to get your attention just to show you how well you are doing. I mean, if this didn’t show her how great her karma is and how carried through life she is… Then nothing ever will.

I truly believe we would never question things or fret over anything if we all could truly understand and know who walks beside us everyday….

golden-halo1.png

Blessings. ~Halo~

Sadness

Isn’t it amazing how when we raise our vibration and on a consistent basis are living an existence of being connected to divine source and love…. That when sadness arrives it hits us like a ton of bricks. I remember when I used to live my whole life everyday in sadness thinking that was the norm.

I would get up day after day, doing the same thing with the same people, and became very complacent in my sadness.

Now that I live my life at such a higher frequency connected to Divine source much more often, … Accepting anything less, than feeling emotionally fantastic, has started to become an incredible challenge.

When you are blended with who you truly are and you feel it. Nothing else will do.”

“Abraham Hicks. Explains it best”

Let’s be realistic, I mean we all have challenges that come our way. But when you operate from a place of divine source and love those challenges are no longer challenges they are opportunities for growth and excitement. Because on the opposite side of what most would call a challenge?, is most likely the biggest breakthrough that you have had to date.

So I’m going to do my best to remember but when I feel sad, I should start getting excited. Because sadness truly is the precursor to a whole new vibrational level if you let it be. I know it’s all easier said than done at times… But hey if I can do it?, then anyone can do it.

For A Reason Or Coincidence?? Part 4

Part 4

For many years after that I sat at that piano playing, practicing, and writing my own material. I always wanted to play professionally but never thought it would happen to me. No, it’s all just pipe dreams. That kind of stuff happens to and for other people, not me. Not some 355 lb woman sitting at a piano with no future. The only reason I was still on the planet was because I had three children that I loved more than anything. Or so I thought. I was so depressed at the time. I had always battled with depression. My weight didn’t help the situation which was a habitual issue and my health on top of that just added fuel to the fire. I went to see a psychiatrist and she diagnosed me as being bi-polar. After that time I got on medication and my life has steadily improved. Actually at an alarming rate in my opinion. When I think that just 4 years ago, I started on this journey and here I am now? It amazes me. But then again in hindsight the universe had plans for me. It’s really amazing to me that in order to become depressed you have to be a very self focused person. Have you ever thought of that?

For me when I was depressed it was always about, me, I, mine. Anything that put me at the center of the universe. I didn’t come out of this way of thinking for many many years. I still struggle with it today. As we all know, no one is perfect. Perfection is something we might strive to accomplish, but is never attainable. The reason for that I believe is because our idea of perfection changes and grows as we change and grow. Interesting, isn’t it?

screenshot_2018-03-23-15-57-27-857115901.png

Through that depression, I still played piano, practiced relentlessly and wrote my own music. I started to see that I had things to be thankful for. Like my children. I decided to start writing music and songs for those I was thankful for. I wrote a song for each one of my children. After doing that, I started writing music about love in general and then other things. I opened my heart and started writing about loss. How that affected me and many others. The problem with all of this is that, I was 355 lbs and way too embarrassed to be up on stage performing at that weight. The way I looked upset me a great deal. I had become a very hard minded person. But the piano and music softened me and I believe gave me hope. I thought, no one will ever hear my music. I sat at my piano and cried because I was doing all of this and the world would never hear it. I didn’t’ have the confidence to carry it out.

I sat down that day and decided to make a list of how to change so that I would have the confidence. The list was lengthily, but it had to be done. There were no longer any other options. Guess what was at the top of the list? I have to see a doctor about weight loss surgery again. Let me explain the again part of that sentence.

doctors-performing-surgery.jpg

“Gastric Sleeve Surgery”

I had been on a waiting list for surgery for 4 years. First my doc put me on a list in a different city because the weight list here was so long, but while I was waiting they changed the rules of which jurisdiction they could do the surgery in. Because I was from a different city, I was no longer in the correct jurisdiction.

So my doctor sent me to a different city. This one needed me there once a week and living on a disability check there is no way that I could afford the travel. So that didn’t work. There was a Bariatric surgeon in my city but the waiting list was forever long. This is why we tried different options. Low and behold it turned out that all of this waiting, was nonsense.

My doc and I decided to put me on the list in my own city. Yes I still had to wait for two years but hey, whats the difference. I truly believed that this would never happen for me. I knew even if I had lost the weight on my own that I would never have the courage to keep it off because it served me a purpose. It kept people at a distance so I couldn’t be hurt. Even though I was killing myself in the process.

OK, lets recap. Stage 1, Lose job and possibility of working. Stage 2, Get her a piano. Well you guessed it. Here comes Stage 3. Are ya ready? I know I sure wasn’t.

cropped-golden-halo114.png

Anger Can Be Our teacher.

When one feels angry about life and what is going on we tend to internalize all of our faults. I believe that anger at people is actually a mirror of why we are angry at ourselves. Maybe it is that being angry fuels a start to a journey within that helps us work through the quagmire of difficult terrain within our hearts.

On the onset it can make one appear ugly and tormented to those around the angered person, but the reality of anger is that the person is working through some of the most difficult terrain in their heart that perhaps they have ever had to work through. I think that anger is the catalyst that brings forth change. That moment when a person stands up and says NO MORE…is the moment that anger has found a route for change. Sometimes we as people take way too much torment…day after day…we let it build up and then hold the anger all inside. We work through these thoughts and feelings alone much to the dismay of our friends and family. 

We may say that we HATE. We may say that we CAN’T STAND it anymore. But we still hold it all in and don’t let the pain out until it erupts like a volcano. While you will have psychologists and people with fancy titles saying that this is not healthy, I would like to challenge that theory. Who are they to say what is healthy. Yes there might be better ways in their opinion for people to process their emotions but the reality of things is that some people are wired differently and need that build up of intensity to help them stand up for themselves. To help them get to the point of choosing honesty over pain and fear. Their pain is so deep that they no longer fear what anyone will say or think. They just need the pain to end.

I think these people much like myself are people pleasers.  They don’t want to hurt other people by saying what is on their mind. They probably feel guilt themselves for even feeling the way that they do. They feel like they are less of a person for not being the bigger person in the situation when that little 2-year-old inside of them is having a massive temper tantrum and screaming at the top of their lungs…IT ISN’T FAIR.!.!.  When in reality they chose this life, moment after moment. Decision after decision. One compiled on top of another. Not knowing how to get out of it or if they even can. So they end up living a tortured existence until something breaks and they decide to take a way out.

The reality is, that way out has been there all along. But it took them getting to a certain place of anger to actually line up with their decision vibrationally. I am speaking of the law of attraction here. When we have lost all resistance to the outcome of a situation that is when we can take a stand and all of a sudden feel great about our choice. Because we have lined up with our feelings and nothing else matters. We have to let them out regardless of whatever comes next. That is lining up with our choices. I have always used the comment that

“Courage is not absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

So in that moment we exude courage. So is courage a bad thing? Heck no courage is not a bad thing. Then how can anger be a bad thing that destroys us if it leads us to taking a leap of courage. It would stand to reason that it would be easier to have courage instead of anger…but in reality that is a lifetime journey that is cultivated one step at a time. To live in courage instead of fear and anger. Yes absolutely we should all strive for it…but I can tell you this…honoring your anger will bring you to courage eventually. So when you feel angry be thankful for the emotion itself.  Be thankful because you must know that courage soon will follow. So be strong tonight…and remember who you are.